We’ve all had a conversation go horribly wrong. Experts give advice on how to handle difficult issues like sex, money and even dog poo
We’ve all had an everyday interaction go horribly wrong. Experts give advice on how to handle difficult issues like sex, money and even dog pooricky conversations are easy to put off – but dodging them only makes things harder. They’re often about something that could make life easier or better but the fact that the exchange may be embarrassing or difficult for one party or both, forms a big barrier.
For the conversation itself, make sure you’re in the right mood. And be prepared for a curve ball. If the other person brings unexpected factors into the mix, park the chat for a while. The key element is to work out how much you want, and go into the conversation believing you’re worth it. “What’s the added value you’re bringing to your organisation? Have you taken on extra responsibility, or learned new skills?” The crucial thing, she says, is to talk about the value you bring.
“Make light of it – hint at the issue without criticising,” says Towner. So for example: “I can’t believe it’s that time of the year again: the hedges are on a growth spurt.” Or: “Why doesn’t the council give us more bins: I can’t squash any more into them.” Another ploy is to role model the behaviour you want from your neighbours. Cut your own hedge, repair your own fence, and chat to them while you’re doing it.
The easier thing, he says, is to set up a PayPal account and check they have one; then all they need is your phone number, and they can pay from their phone. Email or text can be good for this conversation – that way you can remind them of the information they need. Try something like: “Just wanted to check you’ve got my bank details/mobile number so you can send me that money.”
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