The tomatoes are nibbled, the sunflowers ravaged, but how can I maintain a serious territorial presence in the front garden?
eople sometimes ask me whatever happened to my enemy, the squirrel. “He moved on,” I say, in a tone that sounds a bit like: “I won”. The squirrel made a daily habit of pulling the bird feeders off their hooks to let them smash open on the ground. He stole produce from my vegetable patch and taunted me with it, eating it front of me. If I ignored the taunting he would walk up to my office door and tap on the glass.
It’s none of my business what my enemy the squirrel gets up to in the streets, and I find it difficult to maintain a serious territorial presence in the front garden. I am spending more time in the front, because the bulk of my tomato crop has been rotated there this season, but it’s still a quasi-public space. When I’m out there I can’t really talk to myself, and I feel obliged to wear a shirt.
“Um, I live here,” I said, quietly. It waited a long time before moving aside, as if to make it clear that its decision had nothing to do with me. The back garden may be the leafier of the two spaces, but the true wilderness is out front. “What am I supposed to do?” I say, once we reach the kitchen. “I can’t stand in the front garden all day like a scarecrow.”I don’t see the squirrel again for a while, but I see the tomatoes: one every couple of days, each perfectly ripe, half eaten and left for me to find.“What are you talking about?” says the youngest one, looking up from his phone.
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