While gossip often has a negative reputation, research suggests it can be a powerful social tool. Experts explain how gossip evolved to help social groups function and how to use it effectively for building connections and sharing valuable information. The article also discusses the potential dangers of gossip and the importance of practicing it responsibly.
Talking about others has a bad reputation – but it can also be a social glue that helps create bonds. This is how to harness its power for goodIt’s safe to say Pope Francis is not a fan of gossip. Just before Christmas, in one of his final public appearances of 2024, he declared it “, sickens people’s hearts and leads to nothing … gossip is zero”. Beyond the Vatican, however, gossip’s bad reputation is being reassessed.
Less effective gossipers are either careless, sharing “everything that they know, to anyone who will listen” with no mind to their audience, or the potential risks and consequences – or are obviously self-serving, “talking badly about other people so that they can get ahead”, says McAndrew.Though gossip is usually negative, it doesn’t have to be.
Kathryn Waddington, an emerita fellow in psychology at the University of Westminster and author of Gossip, Organization and Work: A Research Overview, quotes a Native American proverb: “Listen to the whispers and you won’t have to hear the screams.” McAndrew says there is evidence that gossip has greater currency for women than it does for men, and that women are more likely to use it aggressively – to ostracise people from social groups or get an advantage on rivals. But “that’s not to say that women are nastier than men”, he adds. Rather, it reflects them making use of what little power they have historically had.
That creates and strengthens bonds – but it also creates an expectation of reciprocity, he adds: “There’s pressure on you to share something back, for our relationship to move forward.” Even screenshots and other “receipts”, posing as crystal-clear proof, can easily be misinterpreted. Limiting your gossiping to in-person offers a level of protection, as well as more opportunities to communicate context and tone.
GOSSIP SOCIAL BEHAVIOR PSYCHOLOGY COMMUNICATION RELATIONSHIPS
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