Time alone is a chance to relax – and reboot your creativity
s a writer, I spend much of my time alone, and yet I almost always want more. I’m fascinated by the relationship between solitude and loneliness, between the yearning to be alone and our deep desire not to feel isolated. A few months ago, I announced to my family – who, to be clear, I love very much – that I was taking myself away for a weekend, something I had not done for more than a decade. My need to be on my own had become too loud to ignore.
One of the best things about that weekend were the meals alone in the hotel restaurant. I love eating with people, but I like a table for one just as much. I always sit facing the room, with a book for the bits between courses. I watch the staff as well – I was a waitress for years – the ebb and flow of their tasks, the dance they do around each other. There’s nothing boring about being a solo diner in a room full of people; a meal out by myself is what meditation seems to be for everybody else.
There have been plenty of worrying headlines about the health consequences of persistently feeling lonely, but loneliness is a subjective experience – emotional information that needs to be heard – and it’s not the same as solitude. Loneliness feels horrible, but research has shown that solitude can help us be more creative. Susan Cain, who wrote Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking, calls this a “catalyst for innovation”.
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