The 400m hurdles phenomenon has to deal with the complicated feelings that come with knowing she is not solely in control of her own destiny
World record holder has to deal with the difficult feelings that come with knowing she is a figment of the ambition of others
At the press conference, the focus is not on what she has just achieved but what she might yet achieve. More world records? The 50-second barrier? A switch of events? The world has seen a miracle, and all it wants to know about is her next trick. “The sky’s the limit, for sure,” she says. “I need to ask my coach about our next goal. He calls the shots.” She doesn’t say what she wants for herself.McLaughlin looks compact, reserved, constrained. They call her a robot, a machine.
Earlier in the year, Sydney had fallen ill with mononucleosis and missed the first six weeks of the season. In April, her mother Mary suffered a heart attack. She worried about what athletics was doing to her social life, that it was becoming less of a hobby and more of a job. And as she crosses the line in third place, having been persuaded to run by her father, all she can feel is relief that it it’s all over and fear at what is to come. Afterwards, a reporter asks about her future plans.
It’s 2006. Sydney is six. She’s about to run the 100 metre dash for the first time. Her father Willie tells her that she can have an almond chocolate bar if she wins. She wins. Afterwards she feels emptied, unsatisfied, unsure what the point of it all was. Then her father hands her the chocolate bar. She swirls and crunches the sweet nutty candy around her mouth, and decides there and then to carry on running. The chocolate disappears down her throat, never to be tasted again.
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