“You always feel that it’s never quite enough to make up for that trauma that they were going through,” said Barry Jonsberg, whose new book unintentionally serves as something of a template for divorced couples. | SamanthaSMorris
When author Barry Jonsberg and his wife divorced in 1985, he worried about the damage his daughters might suffer as a result.
He doesn’t regret the move. “[But] she got deeply upset that we were leaving,” Jonsberg says of his youngest daughter, who was then 16. “And it was only after we’d gone that I understood just how badly she felt. My oldest daughter told me that she took it quite badly. She didn’t show me too much.
“It’s a human reaction to explain to kids, or if not to kids, to family and friends, ‘It’s the other person’s fault, they’ve behaved like shits, they’ve done this, they’ve done that, they betrayed me’,” says Jonsberg, reflecting on his own divorce. “Of course it’s all rather damaging… trying to polarise opinion, and, we had mutual friends. The temptation was to try and turn mutual friends against the other person.
Her other main tip is that parents often underestimate just how distressing it is for adolescents to move between two houses, after their parents separate or divorce.
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