You be the judge: should my partner improve his table manners?

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You be the judge: should my partner improve his table manners?
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She thinks how one holds one’s cutlery is important; he thinks she’s rude to pull him up on it. You decide who’s right in this bad-mannered standoff

Benji clutches his fork in his fist like Henry VIII and II’ve been with Benji for four years, and we’ve lived together for two. Ever since I’ve known him, he’s always eaten with his knife and fork the wrong way around.

It’s just the way he clutches his fork. It’s so intense. I was raised to never direct your fork anywhere but to your plate, and to hold it pointing downward, with your index finger on the back. When I tell Benji this, he laughs it off and says I’m overthinking. He also scoops his food on to his fork, rather than spear his food with it.Once, at a dinner party, a friend of mine said: “Oh, doesn’t Benji hold his cutlery in a funny way?” Obviously I had to agree.

I love Benji but he needs to brush up on table etiquette. We’re in our late 20s and starting to attend more weddings. I don’t want to be embarrassed to sit around a table with him.Helena is being snobby; table manners vary around the world and we all have our little quirks Helena imposing the British way on me is, in my opinion, snobby . She should be more open-minded. Helena also says I hold my fork like Henry VIII and that it looks “uncouth”. I had to research what she meant, and discovered that the European way is to point the fork down and spear the food. I never took to eating this way.

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